PARIS (AP) — Ten years on, survivors of the Paris attacks struggle to cope with the trauma as France prepares to pay tribute Thursday to the victims of the assaults that left more than 130 people dead and more than 400 injured.
“The 10th anniversary is here and emotions and tension are everywhere for us survivors,” said 39-year-old Arthur Denouveaux, president of victims’ association Life for Paris. “That kind of shields us from the world in a way, because we’re so focused on the grief and on remembering those who lost their lives.”
On Nov. 13, 2015, nine Islamic State group gunmen and suicide bombers struck within minutes of one another at several locations in the deadliest violence to strike France since World War II.
They targeted fans at the Stade de France stadium and cafe-goers and ending with a bloodbath in the Bataclan, killing 130 people. Two survivors who later took their own life as consequence of the physical and mental trauma also have been recognized as victims.
Denouveaux was at the concert of the Californian rock band Eagles of Death Metal at the Bataclan. Since then, he has made a point of telling his story, talking to the media and writing books to keep what happened from being forgotten.
“The hardest part is Nov. 14 when you have to get back to normal life somehow and the grief is still here, but the bond is a little more distant,” Denouveaux told The Associated Press.
Coping with post-traumatic stress
At 9:47 p.m., three gunmen burst into the Bataclan, firing indiscriminately and killing 90 people.
Denouveaux escaped when he heard the first gun shots by crawling toward the nearest emergency exit door.
“I remember crawling on top of bodies. I believe most of the people were pretending to be dead and were not dead, but still. And I remember a few faces or at least a few facial expressions of people who were necessarily dead because of the angle of the neck, because of color of the skin,” he said.
Out in the street, he helped bewildered Eagles of Death Metal’s members get in a taxi.
A father of three girls, aged 2, 4 and 6, Denouveaux says it took him a year and a lot of medicines to overcome the most critical phases of post-traumatic stress disorder.
“But since 2017 I would say, I’ve had no panic attack, I’ve had nothing of that kind,” he said. “But I’m very cautious because I’m not sure you heal from PTSD.”
Memorial garden opens near Paris City Hall
Thursday’s main ceremony is to take place at a newly created memorial garden by the Paris City Hall in the presence of French President Emmanuel Macron, Paris Mayor Anne Hidalgo, survivors and families of victims.
Macron also will lay wreaths on the sites of the attacks before the garden event. Parisians are invited to put candles, flowers and written notes on the city’s Republic Plaza and the Eiffel Tower will be lit in the colors of the French flag at night.
“The nation will gather to honor the memory of those who lost their lives, show its unwavering support for their loved ones, express its gratitude to all those who intervened (that night), and reaffirm its ongoing commitment to the fight against terrorism,” Macron’s office said in a statement.
The new memorial garden, designed with the contributions of survivors and relatives of people who died in the attacks, evokes the six sites of the attacks with the names of the victims engraved on steles.
Denouveaux, who was involved from the beginning, said the project aims to create “a place that remembers the dead but also a place of life, a place that is beautiful, that is serene.”
The French soccer federation will honor the victims Thursday as France’s national team hosts Ukraine in a men’s World Cup qualifier. The match will be at the Parc des Princes in Paris rather than the Stade de France in the nearby suburb of Saint-Denis with a minute’s silence before kickoff.
Survivors seek a new path
Nov. 13, 2015, became an important milestone in France’s history, traumatizing an entire nation and shaking the country’s sense of security.
Survivors had to find a new path in life following the attacks, Denouveaux explained.
“When you survive a terrorist attack … you become disconnected from the rest of the world,” Denouveaux said. “There are three mourning phases to be done: the mourning for those who died, the mourning for the person you were … and the mourning of the image people have of you.”
A monthslong trial in 2021-2022 led to the conviction of the lone surviving member of the team that carried out the attacks, Salah Abdeslam, who was sentenced to life in prison without parole. The special terrorism court also convicted 19 other men involved.
“Ten years later, when I tell someone who doesn’t know: ‘Well, I was at the Bataclan,’ the person’s perception of me changes immediately,” Denouveaux said. “There’s the emotion they felt that day, but also, I think, the fear of wondering ‘Is he OK? Can I talk to him about it? How do we do that?’ And that, of course, puts you out of phase.”
